pages from my friend's diary

Memories are like a chilled bear can.It puts you either to abuse or to smile.

In my mind there are some old pages from my friend's diary.And the best part of the story is that years ago that diary was completely mine...i was the sole owner of that protracted  element;days passed and then i was the co-owner of that diary;days passed i lost my ownership rights on my heart...on my diary.And finally this story turned out to be a memory that my hysteresis should keep in mind....should trace and retrace it time and again.Like nobility puts itself prior to brutality so should love.

well see what it reads and to be precise what i should interpret out of these pages.

nov 26,2010

4:30 pm

Emblemed in tears.

lost in oblivion.

.......

hope my intelligencia will win or continue;

hope i will get tired before i loose;

hope i will be loved before i leave;

...........

...........

then there is one last november page.it reads:

nov 30,2010

8:30 pm

one morning

i will knee down in front

n' not wait for roses to bloom either.

one morning

free from the shackling hypocrisy

will feel the smoke of burning self -esteem.

......

.....

my introspection says this page is an agent of hypothetical optimism.As some where in the end it proudly  says "one morning i will cherish a naked soul,a naked heart, and my naked love.

I have always been a propagandist of hypothetical optimism.May be because dreamers always have a place in history.Its my sheer d'vincism .

then there is a december 5 page that reads:

my dear

your emotional quotient keeps me nervous.

........................

Then there is a january page that talks about some incident of lost wristwatch ,that turns out to be an ironical remorse.it reads:
jan 15,2011
8:30pm
last night i lost my wristwatch.
tonight i am afraid of you.
Aren't you like my wristwatch!
time and again...
over your symbolic silence
my hands make promises.
time and again...
over that infetuation
i negotiate with rigidity.
Aren't you like my wristwatch
for i never knew when will it leave;
for i never know when will you!
And like this there are many pages...some i should not mention...some i need not to mention...yes that last march page I think deserves a mention.This page is titled littles.
march 31,2011
6:30pm
A little dark evening
a little bright space
a little burning flame
a little reflecting surface.
A little large heart
a little small vanity
a little loving kins
a little knotted society.
A little twinkling star
a little holding romantics
a little candle burning
beating a little darkness
a little little steps
putting you to the ace.
A little pacific aura
a little cheering breeze
your little loving crease
of my little little 'me's.
A little illuminated light
of that little bone fire
our little little eye
and that little satire.
I think there are 24 littles.
Then one more ..there is one page that puts forth a romantic exaggeration.Well there is a fundamental truth that my lifeline is very small.I compare it with every new person i meet in my life.Even last month i compared it with one of my cousin,whom i rarely met earlier.And its(my lifeline) shortest among all that's the epic conclusion.
this page reads:
july5,2011
9:15am
Some ephemeral dreams of lost spring
make me write lines on paper.
The sharp edge screeches my palm;
puts a mark forever.
n' my lifeline enhances by one-fourth.
.................


well that's all for the night.
and....
someday
i will return with a new saga.
that peeps out of puppet
to take its stance
on an inflammable emotion
widely mistaken.
that from ages
been the reason
for the glorious wars;
societies cried
denizens slaughtered
tears rolled
to wipe out all fear,
to accept its highness.
and...
someday
i will return with a new saga.
-------------------------
And before i pack up i should mention my today's diary entry.
Its a shelly's poetry.It reads:
we look before and after
and pine for what is not:
our sincerest laughter
with some pain is fraught.
our sweetest songs are those
that tell of saddest thoughts.
good night...i will not mention sweet dreams..for dreams sweet or sour ..never let you sleep.